As I date more and more girls I’m realizing more what it is that I want in a girl and how much a role personality plays in my attraction and respect towards women. I’ll try to show it with an example of two girls I dated in Budapest in December. Both were very pretty, yet completely different in personality as well as in how our dates turned out.
The first girl was a sultry, shorter than me Romanian vampire (she had the actual look) with black hair to her midriff, nice curves and deep brown eyes. The only physical thing I’d change about this girl was her forehead, it was slightly on the bigger side. That’s a minor detail though, because I’d rate this girl as a high 7 that was an 8 maybe three years back.
I stopped her in a two set right before she crossed the pedestrian crossing on Deak Ferenc Ter towards the square with the Ferris wheel and got her out a day after New Years Eve (I believe). I took her for a tea in a cafe next to my apartment both out of laziness and the venue being a good place for a first date. During the date I was relaxed, leaned back, let her talk but steered the conversation and gave her occasionally deep eye contact, which she returned and giggled when she couldn’t handle the tension. Miss Romania told me it was nice that ‘I knew how to act’. I felt really at ease and relaxed, my movement was slow and I was interested in getting to know this girl whilst at the same time not caring too much. She might be a time waster after all -though from the set I had a feeling she wasn’t and would be a pleasant girl- so let’s just enjoy it and see what I can make out of it.
It turned out my prediction was right and that she indeed was a really sweet girl. Exactly the type that I’d like to date. This girl was kind, vibrated warm and loving energy, was feminine, had good style, took care of herself, made interesting conversation and was passionate about things other than shopping and partying. All this helped of course in me being at ease and enjoying the date. This girl went to musea, had a passion for architecture and enjoyed exploring cities to find small and cozy cafe’s. A little over half an hour in to the date I remember looking her up and down as she was draped out over the chair, tea in hand, curves showing through her clothes and thinking ‘If I’ll be old one day and want kids and a wife then this one would be a good contestant.’ which is interesting because 1) I never thought about girls that way and 2) she is of way higher quality than I’d previously be content with.
I didn’t fuck this girl for a thousand different reasons, but if I had to pinpoint one it would be because my conversation dropped when we went for a walk (which she initiated… bad leading on my side) and I couldn’t get her out a second time. Too bad, but I had a nice evening after all. Would be better if I fucked her of course, but at least she was a nice girl and I enjoyed her company.
Now for the second girl…. Oh boy did that car crash…
She was waiting outside on Vacy Utca for her friend that was buying something in a shop. Her face was so beautiful I just had to open her. It had sharp features and almost resembled an icy fox, if that makes any sense. This girl had brown hair, very light blue eyes and a pretty smile with nice, white teeth. We chatted, I found out she came from the state in which something is rotten (probably her brain) to visit friends here and explore the city. I closed and later ran in to her and her friend at the Christmas market where we shared mulled wine and more conversation. Over text (Instagram DM) Miss Denmark was quite flirty and seemed fairly keen. I got her out a couple of days later.
This is where the fun stops. We met at the Christmas Tree on the shopping street and I started leading her towards a nice bar at Goszdu whilst making normal get-to-know-you / how-was-your-day chat. Nothing special. But then she says ‘Where are we going? I already walked very far to come here.’ I ignored it and continued.
A bit later… ‘Where are you taking me?! I’m not walking further than that corner.’
I told her we would go to a nice bar just down that street, and that it wasn’t far away at all. Now at Goszdu I made a mistake. I went to a bar, but they gave us shit seating so I left to find a better bar. Everything else seemed full and I was taken back a bit by my date’s behavior. ‘Oh this looks nice.’ said she as we walked past another bar. She pointed at some couches, which looked okay so I figured it would be fine. It was not. It was a karaoke bar. I should have left then and there and again found something better, but I didn’t. My mistake. We had a cocktail each but conversation was rather hard due to Eminem singing Asians distracting my girl and their screechy voices blasting through the speakers. Her lack of femininity didn’t help either because she was giving me shit answers to my questions, asked me the same questions that I asked her and sometimes even refused to answer first.
Whilst talking I found out Miss Denmark was an actual Miss Denmark (score!), placing in the top 10 of prettiest girls in her country. You’d think there’s more to being a Miss than having a pretty face though, but I didn’t tell her that.
Through Instagram I could see her body was less than perfect and her ass was sort of plump. She probably spent too much time sitting on it instead of hitting the gym. Anyway, she may have been a 9 a couple of years ago, and her face still was an 8 now, but in total I’d give her a high 7.
However, that joy of getting a girl this hot out on a date rather soon evaporated when she started speaking about how Taylor Swift is such a talented artist -especially her guitar playing ffs- and how she really got to know Budapest by riding on a tour bus. I pinched my nose here, shook my head and sighed. I knew it was too good to be true.
I figured some walking might help the vibe so we went to a bar closer to my apartment, 5 minutes from our current location. Whilst walking she started complaining again about how I acted like I knew this city by hard (that’s what you do when you’re not ”exploring” a city on a tour bus….) and how her feet were hurting. She wasn’t even wearing heels.
Inside this bar we had more conversation, but nothing like a usual venue 2 because it was not seductive at all. Every direction I steered it in she evaded, every chance I gave her to be feminine she fucked up and every time I said something she disagreed. After 20 minutes I had enough. She made me sigh in annoyance multiple times, and when I called it out she didn’t change her behavior. Then we got talking about men and women and their sexual strategies (my mistake). I said they were different, which infuriated her. I got reactive (my mistake) and we had a discussion. Eventually I had enough of her and I felt was never going to fuck this girl, so I downed my whiskey and walked out. She blocked me before I had reached my front door.
‘That’s one woman wasted’, thought a frustrated me as I returned to the apartment. I was angry and had lost all my attraction for her. I genuinely felt sorry for her and angry at her for wasting my time and angry at myself for letting her. This girl was a proper spoiled brat, and although her face was nice, she seemed dead inside and acted way too entitled. So much potential, yet so ruined and empty. What a shame.
It left me thinking… How can I be so utterly repelled by a girl that pretty? Why is it that I even found her to not be that pretty anymore after the date? Was she a quality girl? If not, then why? What is it exactly that makes a girl of high quality and how much does personality play a role in this?
Obviously the answer is that personality plays a big role in one’s attractiveness (duhhh) and quality, but let me elaborate a bit. Both girls were very pretty, no doubt about that. Put them on my bed naked and I would barely know which to pick. But who would I call back after that for another date? Who would I want to join me for a walk in the park, a concert, going out to eat or get some ice cream with? Who would I eventually want to raise my kids? Obviously not the rotten girl.
I initially believed that female quality was mostly ascribed, but these girls really proved to me that personality truly does play a way bigger role in making me attracted to a girl than I had been aware of and that I value some traits above looks (to a certain extent). Looking back two years I had no idea what I wanted in a girl. All I knew was that the ones I liked were to be found mainly in Eastern-Europe, now I also know why and can put it in to words. I genuinely feel entitled to better women, which I think is fucking awesome. I also know now why my pre-game ex-girlfriend annoyed me so often and why we had so many arguments.
What I want in woman/girl is for her to inspire me to be a better man. I want her to have a supportive and uplifting energy. I want her to be loving and caring. I want her to offer more than just pussy. I want a beautiful girl, both on the inside and outside. I want her to have the ambition to be a good traditional mother, eventually. When a girl is truly feminine, like the Ukrainian I I-dated in The Hague, the Ukrainian from Warsaw and the Romanian described above, her company becomes a pleasure and you’ll want to have her around you. Therefore, quality i.e. high SMV is not simply looks (ascribed SMV), nor simply personality (acquired SMV). It’s both. A high quality girl is both very pretty and feminine. She keeps in shape, but also knows how to dress with flare and style. She is sexy, but not slutty. She longs for a strong man, but doesn’t sleep around. She can lead herself, but lets a man lead them. She… the list goes on.
So we know what quality is now, but if we then want these type of girls who barely put out and are some of the prettiest on earth, without wifing them up (at least not now) then how the hell are we going to get them in our beds?! It’s rather contradictory, isn’t it? We want to quickly sleep with a girl who normally takes a long time to be bed and if she decides to do so it may very well only be with a potential husband, yet at the same time her chasteness is something we encourage and find attractive. To then still seduce a girl like that, one must have some proper skill, (probably) invest more than one date, have masculine value and some luck. After all, we’re basically trying to find a hack to overcome the commitment that she naturally wants.
To have few partners and want that commitment is, of course, the safer mating strategy for women. Why is it then that many Western girls nowadays (assumption, I wasn’t around ‘back then’) are not like that? Krauser once wrote that Western women are broken, and it’s making more and more sense to me. Of course their ascribed value is given and may even vary to some extent, but their acquired value component of quality is in my experience severely lacking. Why? Who knows. I think it’s because of a number of reason, mainly being
- our hedonistic culture: R-selected traits are encouraged. Not good for girls.
- weak or absent fathers: girls will now shit-test more in the hope of finding a man with boundaries. They have also never seen what a strong father figure looks like so don’t know what to look for. Boys suffer too because they lack a male role model and thus don’t know how to act. All this is rather confusing and frustrating for both sexes.
- social media: sex is everywhere and with TikTok, Tinder, Instagram and videoclips basically celebrating thot-behaviour this is what you will see the youth mimic. Monkey see, monkey do. Social media also causes unrealistic female entitlement and a delusional way of life which will backfire hard when their beauty fades. They don’t know how to keep a man if it’s not for pussy because they (have been made to) think that’s enough and never encountered a man who held them to higher standards.
- second wave feminism: ironically this is not only a very misandrist, but also a very misogynistic movement. Men are hated for their sheer existence and women are forced to do what men are supposed to be doing for the sake of empowerment, leaving both parties confused and hurt. Women are taught not to love men and men are taught to feel guilt for having masculine desires. Nothing good can come from that.
If only there was a way to stop this and make women great again…. Wouldn’t that be amazing? We could all live in a wonderful utopia where the rainbow does end in a pot of gold and everything is fine. Well, of course we can’t, biology still holds true and women will still test and look for strength. That’s why the game never ends. However, there is a way to improve the situation, or at least not let it deteriorate further, and it starts with us, men. Instead of being bitter and woeful, men should set the example for younger men (like many on the interwebz have done for me, thanks guys) and treat women the way they truly want to be treated. Just like we long for feminine women, women long for masculine men. So let us, including the youngsters, become just that. Let us raise our value. Let us be strong pillars in the currents of political correctness, emotions and entitlement. Become that and I’m sure you’ll find quality girls. There’s still plenty of it ambling down the sidewalks, you just need to know where to look (ahem Eastern Europe) and what to look for. Actually, just like there’s a supply problem in femininity, there’s also very few masculine men out there. We should see this as an opportunity to get even more girls, because scarcity creates value and value attracts. Use it to your advantage.
Now for the Danish girl, based on previous experience I think (and hope) she was just an anomaly in the usually high correlation between a pretty appearance and a personality that I enjoy. So far she has been the only one where looks were this deceiving because any other time I’ve truly enjoyed dating a girl it was a pretty and feminine one i.e. one of high quality.
To prevent dates like her to happen in the future I will screen more for quality instead of just looks and hoping to get along. After all I would rather spend my time with a girl whose company I enjoy than get a headache just to get some ass because that ‘headache’ time could be well spent on other things such as making money, reading a book, playing guitar -whatever.
Plus, it builds selfrespect because I’m not letting girls who I dislike in my life. I suggest you do too.
Hope this post wasn’t too much of an unstructured ramble.
 – Feels like I’m preaching to the choir here, like saying 1 + 1 = 2. I knew all this before, but only since some months am I realizing the importance of non-ascribed value. Thought I’d make a post of it.